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老友记(六人行)第九季在线观看 百度云/百度网盘/360云盘
老友记(六人行)第九季在线观看 百度云/百度网盘/360云盘
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【老友记第九季 全集Friends 百度云/百度网盘/360云盘】罗斯、瑞秋和Emma继续住在一起，直到一天他们由于当时两人的奇怪的关系争吵起来——两人住在一起，有孩子，但却不处于恋爱关系。于是瑞秋决定领着Emma搬回到乔伊那里。 钱德勒的公司把他调职到俄克拉荷马州的塔尔萨，商量后。他决定独自前往塔尔萨。
其他分季：
罗斯、瑞秋和Emma继续住在一起，直到一天他们由于当时两人的奇怪的关系争吵起来&&两人住在一起，有孩子，但却不处于恋爱关系。于是瑞秋决定领着Emma搬回到乔伊那里。 钱德勒的公司把他调职到俄克拉荷马州的塔尔萨，商量后。他决定独自前往塔尔萨。在圣诞夜，一名女职员想在办公室与钱德勒调戏，结果钱德勒辞了职，随后投身广告界。钱德勒和摩妮卡屡次试图要一个孩子。。。
集数：24集
主演：詹妮弗&安妮斯顿 大卫&休默 柯特妮&考克斯 莉莎&库卓 &更多
导演：Kevin S.Bright
编剧：Marta Kauffman David Crane
地区：美国
语言：英语
年份：2002
类别：爱情 喜剧
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老友记第九季第4集中英文对照剧本
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One With The Sharks
SCENE: Central Perk.
Phoebe comes in.
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross, oh I'm so glad
someone's here. Could you zip me up?
Ross: Sure.
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no
one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?.
Ross: People. (Shakes his head.)
So why you all dressed up?
Phoebe: Oh umm. Mike's picking me up
for a date.
Ross: Oh yea? Now um, how is that
going, is it getting serious?
Phoebe: Oh I dunno, I dunno, you know I
mean, I like him but am I ready to take my grade-A loins off the meat market?
Ross: You know, I really admire your
whole dating attitude, it's so healthy. I'm always like, is this moving to
fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?
Phoebe: Yeah, you know, you are a bit
of a drama queen.
Ross: But you, you're so much better
off. You just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terms
into anything serious.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know.
There's that guy ... well what about...OK well there's gotta be someone.
Ross: There isn't. That's what I'm
saying. /p&
Phoebe: Oh my God, you're right!
Ross: I know, and yet here you are,
all ready for the next date.
Phoebe: I can't believe I never
realized this before. I'm in my 30s and never been in a long-term
relationship! Oh my God! (Starts crying.) What's wrong with me?
Ross: No, no, no there's nothing
wrong with you. I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants
to get married anyway.
Phoebe: I wanna get married! (Grabs
a tissue.)
Ross: Please don't cry because of me,
Pheebs. I don't know what I'm talking about. I've been divorced three times!
Phoebe: At least you've been married!
Oh my God! I wanna trade lives with Ross! (Cries.)
Mike (Paul Rudd) enters.
Mike: Phoebe, what's wrong?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm excited about our
date. Mike, this is Ross Geller. Ross, this is Mike Haaaaa... (Cries
Ross: I'm sorry I didn't catch...
Mike: It's Mike Hanagen.
Ross: Oh, Ross Geller.
Mike: (To Phoebe) Hey, so are
you sure you're ready to go?
Phoebe: Uh huh. (To Ross) How do
I look? (Her face is a mess from crying.)
Ross: Do you have a compact in your
Phoebe: No.
Ross: You look great.
Opening Credits
SCENE: Central Perk, Monica
Monica: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn
around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?
Monica: Joey, I am not going to
objectify woman with you! (Looks at the woman.) But if her face is as
nice as her ass, woah mamma!
Joey: All rright thanks. Oh hey, have
you talked to Chandler?
Monica: Yeah, he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend.
Joey: How come?
Monica: He has to work, there's some
rush on the big ... ah damn it, one of these days I'm really gonna have to
start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: Oh. Why don't you fly out there
and surprise him?
Monica: Maybe I will go....Yeah, we'll
have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa Romana.
Joey: Oh and you know what you should
bring? The black see-through teddy with the attached garters.
Monica: How do you know I have one of
Joey: Didn't till just now.
(Monica goes to the back and
Joey looks at the girl)
Joey: Hot not hot. (She turns
around) Hot!
Hayley: Excuse me?
Joey: I said I think you're hot and
now I'm embarrassed.
Hayley: Oh I thought you said
Joey: That would've been better, I'll
try that. Hi, I'm Joey.
Hayley: I'm Hayley.
Joey: Look, I don't usually ask out
women that I meet in coffeehouses...
Gunther: Ha!
Joey: (To Gunther.)
Gesundheit!
Hayley: I would love to go out with
Joey: Really, great, did I actually
Hayley: No, that's just where you were
going. I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of
guy that does this a lot.
Gunther: Ha!
Joey: (To Gunther.) Seriously
Gunther, you should see someone about that cold. If it gets much worse you
could DIE! (Gunther looks scared.)
SCENE: Ross is at Phoebe's.
Ross: So how'd the date go?
Phoebe: Well, it was awful! Every time
I thought about what you said, I started crying.
Ross: So he hasn't called?
Phoebe: Would you call this girl? (Fake
crying) Thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing.
Ross: Now I feel terrible, this is
all my fault.
Phoebe: Well, you know what you should
feel terrible about? This could have been my serious guy! He was sweet and
smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Ross: We are a rare breed.
SCENE: Hayley's Apartment.
Hayley: What a great dinner.
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks again for
letting me have that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Hayley: (Laughs) You're welcome
again. I'm gonna make some coffee. Can I get you anything?
Joey: Do you have any cake?
(Hayley laughs, goes into the
Joey: (Thinking:) So this
is going pretty good. Dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine)
Victoria's secret, huh, we even like the same books. Oh now there's a scary
painting. Wait a minute! I think I've been scared by that painting before.
You know what, this whole place look familiar! I have definitely been in this
apartment! I know I've seen this weird plant before (a cactus and he touch
it) ouch! It did that the last time! Oh my God, I've gone out with this girl
before! Yeah, we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and...no, we
didn't do it here, which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good
place. (Bends down and the cactus pricks him in the ass) ouch! That's why.
SCENE: Mike's Apartment
Ross: Hey Mike sorry to just drop by
like this, can I come in?
Mike: Sure. (He looks confused.)
Who are you?
Ross: I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from
the coffeehouse.
Ross: Yeah, I really, really need to
talk to you about something.
Mike: OK, unless... you're not gonna
try to get me to join a cult are you?
Ross: (laughs) No
Mike: Oh, it's just you have that
Ross: Damn super cuts!
Mike: What's up? Is Phoebe OK?
Ross: Oh no, yeah, no, Phoebe is
great, but umm... I'm an idiot. Look, right before you guys went out, I
accidentally got her all upset.
Mike: That's why she was weird.
Ross: Yes, yeah, I said something
stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know
she is so much fun, a wonderful person! Please don't blow her off.
Mike: I'm not blowing her off. I
actually just got off the phone with her. We're going out tomorrow night. I
mean, I hope that's OK with you, stranger from the coffee house.
Ross: Well then, I didn't need to
bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Mike: Hey wait wait wait wait! Is
that true what you said? Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?
Ross: Of course she has. If she'd
never had a serious relationship, I'd go around broadcasting it like some
unstoppable moron.
Mike: But you did say it.
Ross: Yes, yes I did. And I will also
say what I'm about to say vis-a-vis the following, Phoebe has never had a
serious relationship since her...super-serious relationship with...Vicrum.
Mike: Vicrum?
Ross: What, that's a real name!
SCENE: Chandler arrives home
from work.
Chandler: (Singing) Oklahoma,
where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...STOP IT! Why couldn't they
have sent me to Texas? 7 o'clock, maybe I'll hit the gym. (Sits down)
Who am I kidding? Pay-per-view porn!
Monica enters.
Chandler: Do not disturb! Do not disturb!
(Changes channels.) Monica!
Monica: Is everything all right?
Chandler: Everything's great, just
watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She
hugs him, She knows he was masturbating, but he has changed the channel to a
nature program about sharks.)
Monica: I'm gonna go freshen up, OK?
Chandler: OK honey.... (To himself)That
was close.
Cut to R phone rings.
Rachel: Hello.
Monica: Hey Rach, its me, OK, I just
got to Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.
Rachel: Oh, that couldn't have been
pretty. But you know, guys do that.
Monica: Yeah well, the weird part is...
he was getting off to a shark attack show!
Rachel: Noooooo!
Monica: Yes! Chandler watches shark
SCENE: Monica's Apartment
Rachel: Well, watching sharks? Are you
sure that's what he was doing?
Monica: Do you know how many times I've
seen him jump up like that? Believe me, I know what he was doing.
Rachel: Man, sharks. I always knew
there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no
matter what.
Monica: Which means if he gets like a
disease or kills someone. Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws!
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey? Guys
are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I
once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a
naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Eww, are you talking about my
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that
very well, did I.
Joey: (Enters) Hey!
Rachel: Hi.
Joey: Listen to this... I went out
with this girl last night and half way through our date, I realized I already
slept with her!
(Monica makes a strange face and
sits down)
Rachel: So basically, you've slept with
all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
Joey: Well that's not even the weird
part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.
Monica: But you don't remember sleeping
Joey: Yeah, but she should remember
sleeping with me! I am very memorable, you guys know.
Rachel: What, how do we know, we never
slept with you.
Joey: And who's fault is that?
Monica: What's the big deal, you
forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night.
Joey: Hey! I never have an off night,
OK, although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy, but
even then I'm better than most!
Monica: Honey, why don't you just let
it go and ask her out again?
Rachel: Yeah, you're both so slutty you
don't even remember who you've slept with! You're made for each other.
Joey: Interesting. All right, I'll go
out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for chips) Oh salt,
Monica: Joey, Joey.
Joey: What?
Monica: You don't think sharks are sexy
Joey: No. (Pause) Wait a
minute, what was the little mermaid?
SCENE: Phoebe's Apartment
Phoebe: It's open.
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! Mike called, we're going
out again! Yay yay! (She dances)
Ross: Yay! Quick thing, I went to
talk to Mike.
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-what did you do,
Ross: Oh boy, you got mad at that
part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me, blah
blah blah, and I ended up telling him ...that....
Phoebe: What!
Ross: Umm... that you had a
six-year-long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
Phoebe: What? Why!
Ross: Well, he seemed too bummed out
that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If
you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a rabid dog
would be feasting on your danglers right now!
Ross: Well Phoebe, I think you'll
feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum. He's a kite designer!
And he used to date Oprah!
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some
lie you made, Ross. No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Ross: Good, yeah, just be honest with
Phoebe: Yeah, I've nothing to be
ashamed of. OK, so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a
month. OK, I haven't had a real boyfriend. You know, if he can't handle that,
he can leave. Which he will, and that's OK. So I'll just be alone forever,
you know, alright, I'll be... it'll be fine, it'll be fine. I'll go on
walking tours with widows and lesbians.
(Knock on door.)
Ross: I'll get it.
Phoebe: OK.
Mike: (To Ross.) You know, I'm
trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there.
Phoebe, are you OK?
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah. There's just
something umm, there's something you should know.... Vicrum just called.
SCENE: Hayley's Place
Hayley: So it was kind of a shock.
After 25 years of marriage, my parents, a perfect couple, getting divorced. I
kinda took it the hardest 'cause I was the youngest.
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you
not remember me?
Hayley: What?
Joey: How could you not remember that
we slept together?
Hayley: What! When?
Joey: I dunno!
Hayley: I really, really think I would
remember sleeping with you.
Joey: Come on, come on, search your
brain. All right. it was ... a certain amount of time ago, I was here, you
were here, we had sex (Pointing) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Hayley: No, it's not ringing any bells.
Joey: My God, woman! How many people
do you have to have been with not to remember any of this?
Hayley's roommate: (Enters) Hey Hayley,
you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!
Joey: Oooooh, I slept with you! And
you obviously remember me. Hey! I still got it. (To Hayley) So we're
good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
SCENE: Phoebe's Place
Phoebe: ...and I said Vicrum, you can't
just call every time you get lonely, you know, you, you gave up that right
when you slept with Rachel.
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just
had a baby with Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah well (pause) yeah
you know, Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say
Mookurgee.
Mike: That is so wrong and on top of
that he's a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: I know but he calls and my
heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth-talking free-lance
kite designer.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better
out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but...maybe me.
Phoebe: Oh.
Mike: And you don't have to worry
about glue sniffing with me. Although I do smell the occasional magic marker,
yeah ah anyway, I just think I can make you happy.
Phoebe: OK I can't do this.
Mike: What's wrong?
Phoebe: Well there is no Vicrum, Ross
made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship,
I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary
so...if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In
fact I'll close my eyes, make it less awkward (She sits, eyes closed. Mike
kisses her.) You kissed me.
Mike: Uh huh.
Phoebe: So you don't think I'm a total
Mike: No. Well look, can I think
you're weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you?
Phoebe: I guess so, can I, can I think
it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again and umm, be a little
concerned about the magic markers?
Mike: Definitely
Ross: (On phone, in accent)
This is Vicrum.
SCENE: Chandler & Monica' s
Chandler: Hi honey I'm home!
Monica: Hi, how was your flight? (She
Chandler: Oh it was great.
Monica: (While putting in video
tape.) Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I
have a little surprise for you!
Chandler: Well, well, well it must be
five in Tulsa because it's six o clock in NYC!
Monica: OK. This is how much I love
you. (Plays tape.)
Chandler: Honey, why am I watching a
bunch of sharks swimming around?
Monica: Is this not the good part? Do
you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier?
Chandler: No, I'm not quite sure you got
the right movie, that's all.
Monica: Oh well, this is the only one
they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile
killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Chandler: Does what always have to be
Monica: Honey, look, we can do
something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: Sweetie it's OK, I still love
you, let me be a part of this.
Chandler: Let ME be a part of this!
Monica: I saw what you were doing in
Tulsa. Angry sharks turn you on!
Chandler: No they don't
Monica: Then why were you watching them
and giving yourself a treat?
Chandler: Oh my God! When you came in, I
switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn!
Monica: Really?
Chandler: Yeah, just some good
old-fashioned girl-on-girl American action.
Monica: I cannot tell you how happy
that makes me!
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. No
really, you're amazing! You were actually gonna do this for me, I mean, where
do you find the strength and understanding over something like that?
Monica: I'm very, very drunk right now.
(They hug.)
SCENE: Central Perk
Joey: (Looks at a girl walking
in.) See, ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken...
did I sleep with her? did I not sleep with her?
Phoebe: You know, maybe this is a
wake-up call, about your whole dating attitude. You're in your 30's and you've
never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long-term
relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to
meaningless experience, never even worrying that it doesn't turn into
anything serious.
Joey: You're right! I love my life! (He
gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I
actually did sleep with her.
还好你在，
能帮我把拉链拉高点吗?
你相信吗：从我家到这里，一路上居然没有一个人
主动帮我拉一下？
什么世道！
那&&你怎么穿的这么隆重?
Oh umm. Mike约我出去.
哦 是吗, 进展如何,
哦，我不知道, 我不知道,这个&&
我的意思是,我喜欢他。
莫非现在就要我对外宣布
&此甲级小腰肉 撤市禁售&？
你知道,我真的佩服你对待约会的态度,
如此健康。
我总是这样： 是不是进展得太快了?
是不是进展变慢了?
不知道到进展到什么程度了?
Yeah,你知道,你有点象戏剧女王。
你就比我好多了
你仅仅从中去寻找乐趣
而且从不当真。
我不是说&决不&&&,
你知道。 会有一个人&&
然后，大概...
那个，肯定会有那么一个人的。
但现在没有。我就是这个意思。
哦，天呀,你是对的!
我知道，看看你现在, 准备好了下一个约会！
难以置信，我从来没有意识到这些。
三十年来，我从来没有过一次认真的交往!
哦，我的天啊!
我怎麽了 ?
不, 别，别&&
你这么做也不算错呀，
我的意思是,无论如何，
你又不打算结婚。
我打算结婚!
别因为我说的哭,
Pheebs， 我不知道我在说什么呢我。
我离过三次婚!
至少你结过婚!
哦，我的天啊! 我希望能和Ross交换一下人生!
没事，为我们的约会而兴奋。
Mike,这是 Ross Geller；
Ross,这是Mike Haaaaa&&
对不起，我没太听清&&
Mike Hanagen 。
哦,Ross Geller。
嗨, 这么说，可以走了吗?
我看起来怎么样?
你包里带 补妆盒 了吗?
你看起来棒极了。
嗨，那个女孩儿不转过身来，
我就不能确定她是否够劲儿,
你怎么认为?
Joey,我不打算和你来评析女人!
但是如果她的脸和她的屁股一样入眼,
哦，我的妈妈!!
多谢多谢。
Oh hey, 你和Chandler联系过了?
Yeah,他这个周末要留在 Tulsa。
他必须工作, 有一些大急事...厄&&
总会有那么一天的，
我会仔细听他说他的工作那摊子事儿。
哦， 为什么你不飞去给他一个惊喜?
也许我会去....
对呀, 我们会在 Tulsa Romana 二度蜜月。
哦，而且，你知道你应该带上什么吗?
你的黑色、透明、带吊带的连衫衬裤。
你怎么知道我有一条?
此刻才知！ :)
够不够劲儿哪？
我是说&我认为你很够劲儿，而且&&
现在，我觉得有点尴尬了。
哦，我以为你在说&嗨&呢 。
那样可能好点儿。
我试试。 嗨,
我是 Joey 。
我是 Hayley 。
你瞧，我不经常和在咖啡屋里遇到的女人搭讪&&。
早日康复（Gesundheit）!
我想我愿意跟你约会。
真的,太棒的,
我刚才发出过邀请吗？
那是你的想法，
我不过是帮你说了出来,
你不像经常做这种事儿的家伙。
为你好，Gunther,
你应该去治治你的感冒。
再严重点儿的话，你会死的!
约会怎么样?
嗯，糟糕透了!
一想到你那番话,我就忍不住开始哭。
那么，他没打电话来吗?
你会打电话给这样的女孩吗?
多--么温-馨--的夜--晚。
真是非常抱歉,这都是我的错。
好吧，你知道你应该为什么感到抱歉吗?
这个可能是我应该认真对待的男孩。
他温柔，聪明、风趣。
你知道遇到这种男人有多难吗？
我们是珍稀物种。
晚餐不错吧。
是啊! 而且，嗨, 再次感谢让我吃了餐厅的最后一块蛋糕。
再次说 不客气。
我在去泡一点儿咖啡。你还要什么吗?
还有蛋糕吗?
嗯&&一切顺利。
晚餐相当不错,又有很多共同点。
维多利亚的秘密（内衣产品介绍），
我们甚至喜欢同样的书。
哦，有一幅吓人一跳的画。嗯&&
我记得我曾经被这幅画吓了一跳。
可不是吗？整个地方都似曾相识!
我地确来过这楝公寓。
我记得我看到过这个怪异的植物&&
哎唷! 它上次就是这么干的!
哦，我的天,我和这个女孩儿约会过!
没错,我们在这个沙发上&做&过，
然后，在那张椅子上，然后...
不，我们没在这里&做&,
奇怪的是这里看起来不错呀&&
哎唷! 就是因为这！
对不起，只是顺路拜访一下,
我能进来吗?
我是 Ross,咖啡屋里，Phoebe的朋友。
是的, 我真的&真的需要和你谈谈。
只要... 只要你不让我参加什么礼拜仪式，
噢，你看上去象。
可恶的超级发型!
怎么了? Phoebe好吗?
哦是的,是的,
Phoebe很好,
但是 umm... 当我是个笨蛋，好吧?
你看,在你们外出之前,
我无意中搅得菲比一团糟。
难怪她怪怪的。
我说了一些关于她从来没有过认真交往的的蠢话,
但是你应该意识到她有多好，一个极好的人!
请别离开她。
我没离开她。
实际上，我刚挂了电话。
我们正打算明天还出去。
我的意思是, 我希望你认为这还可以,
咖啡屋的陌生人。
好的，那么，我不必打扰你&&
你或其他四个Mike Hanagens了。
嗨，等等，等等，等等!
你说的是真的?
Phoebe从来没有认真交往过?
如果她从没有认真交往过,
你认为我会走来走去传播它吗？像那些&&
多动的低能儿?
但是你确实说了。
是的，我是说了。
而且，我也将会说&&
我所要说的。
面对面的说&&
Phoebe从没有认真交往过
自从她的...
超级认真的交往之后
和...Vicrum。
怎么了,那是一个真正的名字!
俄克拉荷马州,风儿轻轻的抚过平原&&
为什么他们不派我到德克萨斯?
也许我应当做做健身。
开什么玩笑? 付费情色台!
别进来！别进来！
都还好,只是&&
看一些一般的电视节目,
愉快的&奇袭&。
我去梳洗一下,好吗?
好的，宝贝....
混过去了。
嗨 Rach, 是我,
听好，我刚到达Chandler的房间，而且我捉到了他
哦, 肯定不好看。
但是你知道,没什么奇怪的。
是的，是，怪异的是&&
他同时看着鲨鱼攻击秀!
是的! Chandler看着鲨鱼兴奋着!
哦,看着鲨鱼?
你确定他所正在&做&吗?
你知道吗？我好几次看到他这样的跳了。
相信我,我知道他在干什么！
男人,鲨鱼...
我始终觉得这个家伙有点问题。
但是你说无论如何都爱他。
&如何&谨代表他得了病或者杀了人。
不代表他对鲨鱼感&性&趣!
啊! 你知道吗?宝贝，
有些人是有些癖好的。
有时候，他们喜欢的我们根本不理解。
你知道, 有一次我约的那个家伙
想要假装他是一个考古学家，
而我是一个顽皮被冻在一块大冰里的穴居女人。
Eww, 你说的是我哥哥吗?
是的,我露馅了，是吧？
听我说说&& 我昨晚和这个女孩子出去了，
约会进行到一半时,
我发现我曾经和她上过床!
基本来说，你已经睡遍全纽约
的女孩子，如今已经轮转回来了？
好的，那不是最怪异的部分。
我想她不记得曾经和我上过床!
但是你也不记得已经和她上过床。
是的,但是她应该记得和我睡过!
我是非常值得回忆的!
你们应该知道的。
什么,我们怎么会知道？我们又没跟你睡过。
那怪谁呢? (参考 306)
没什么大事，你忘了,她忘了,
也许当时正是你&不灵&的一晚。
我从来没&不灵&过！
有时我因为一些小毛病不是很&风光&,
但是即使如此我也比大多数人好!
干脆别想了，你为什么不再约她一次?
是呀, 你们都不记得曾经和对方上过床!
有点儿意思...
好的,我再约她一次，不想了。
噢,盐!肿了！
你认为鲨鱼很性感吗?
等一下,小美人鱼是什么?
Mike打电话来了,我们要再约会 ! Yay yay!
Yay! 有急事,我找Mike谈了谈。
Wha-wha- 你干什么了,Ross!
Oh 伙计,你反应夸张了点？
我去那里告诉他你有多好
但是你了解我,
blah blah blah,而且我最後告诉他。。。
Umm... 你和一个叫做Vicrum的家伙
曾经亲密交往长达6年。
什么? 为什么!
他也像是有些微辞对于
你从来没有没有真正交往过。
如果你不是正巧和我的最好的朋友
造了一个小孩儿，
我对着&马王爷&诅咒
一只疯狗正叼着你那晃里晃荡的玩意儿!
好的，Phoebe,我想当你对Vicrum有所了解的时候,
你会有不同的感觉。
他是一个风筝设计者!
他曾经约会过Oprah（脱口秀天后）！
我不打算和你一起去说谎,Ross。
相反我恰恰要去向他坦白。
好的,是, 去向他坦白。
是的, 我没有什么可惭愧的。
好，那么我从来没有过超过一个月的认真交往，
而且，我没有过一个真正的男朋友。
你知道,如果他不能接受,他可以离开。
一切由他。那个&&没什么，
那我，我永远孤独,你知道的,
没关系，将来&&
我要和寡妇和女同性恋一起步行旅游。
我去开门。
你知道吗,我正在尝试记起
我最后一次打开门而你不在那里的场景。
Phoebe,你还好吗?
Uh huh 是的。 刚好&&umm,
应该让你知道的....
Vicrum刚刚打过电话来。
所以，这是一个打击。
在 25 年婚姻之後,
我的父母，一对完美的夫妇,离婚了。
接受起来有些困难 ，因为我年龄最小。
Uh huh, 没错, 是的.
你怎么会不记得我？
你怎么会不记得我们&做&过?
什么! 何时?
我真的、真的不记得我们&做&过。
来来 ,好好的回忆一下。好的，那是&&
在某些时间以前,
我在这里,你在这里,我们&做&了，
这儿,这儿,这儿
没有那儿。
有点印象了吗?
不，一丁点儿印象也没有。
我的上帝,女人!
你得有过多少男人
才会不记得这些呢?
嗨 Hayley, 你真该修修门把手了。
和我&做&过的是你!
而且，很明显的你记得我。
嗨! 我终于明白了。
所以，我们都没错。
我自己出去。
...然后，我说好的 Vicrum,
你不能每次一寂寞了就打电话给我,
你, 你，从最开始你和Rachel睡就是错误的。
但是，Rachel，我想他却Ross生了一个小孩儿。
是的你知道,
艾玛的出生证书上写着 Geller
但是她的眼睛里却写着 Mookurgee 。
那也太离谱了
而且他是一个吸毒者。
我知道，但是他一打电话我的心情就不能平静。
你知道那个家伙是个油嘴滑舌的
不受管的风筝设计者。
我想说其实还有很多人更适合你
我的意思是除我之外&&
也许就是我。
你至少不用担心我会吸毒。
虽然我偶尔抽点儿大麻,
是的，啊，无论如何, 我只是&&
我想我能让你快乐。
但我不能。
好的，根本没有 Vicrum,
是Ross编出来的，因为&&
我实际上，没跟别人长时间交往过,
我从没与任何男友同住过,
而且我从来没有经历过一周年纪念日
对你来说是不是太古怪了
而且即使你现在就走，我也完全理解。
事实上，我要闭上我的眼睛,这样不会显得太蠢。
你吻了我。
这么说你不认为我是个怪人
能告诉我事实，我认为你既怪又酷
而且也想吻你
我也这么想,
我能, 我能认为你吻了我
而且还想吻我也很酷吗？
那个 umm, 有点担心大麻?
有一点儿。
我是Vicrum 。
嗨，宝贝，我到家了!
嗨,路上还好吗?
坐得舒服点儿
因为我为你准备了一些小惊喜!
现在在Tulsa一定是5点，因为在纽约是6点（性感时刻）！
证明我爱你有多深。
为什么我在看一群鲨鱼游泳?
你想快进找有鲨鱼呲牙的段落吗?
不，我想你可能放错片子了。
哦 好吧，录像带商店仅有这样一盘,
但是他们还有一些片子叫做-鳄鱼杀手。
难道,必须是鲨鱼?
什么必须是鲨鱼?
宝贝，你看,
我们也可以做点儿别的。
你想让我进浴缸&&翻滚吗?
这是怎么了?
宝贝,没关系的
我仍然爱你,
让我融入其中吧。
让&我&融入其中吧!
我看见了你在 Tulsa 所做的。
愤怒的鲨鱼使你兴奋!
不，它们不能
那你为什么一边看它们一边&自食其力&?
哦，我的天啊! 当你进来的时候,我换了频道,
我只不过正在看正常的情色台!
是的,仅仅是一些怀旧的美国的&女在女上&的动作。
我都高兴的不知道说什么好了!
你真是了不起的妻子。
真的，你真了不起!
事实上，你正打算为我这么做,
我的意思是, 你哪里来的勇气和度量来忽视那些?
我彻彻底底的喝多了！
看,通常我会去和她搭讪,
但是我的信心被摇动了&&
我和她&做&过吗?
我没和她&做&过吗?
你知道,也许这是一个唤醒电话,
有关你约会的态度。
在你经历过的这30年中，
你从来没有过长久的认真地交往。
女人到女人,
无意义的经验到无意义的经验,
从来不打算认真对待。
说对了! 我爱我的生活!
我和她&做&过。
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